Sunday, November 21, 2010

If You Suck in Basketball, You're Gay

I know Basketball is king in the Philippines.  But why do we use that sport as the barometer for one's masculinity?  For Pinoys, it is a game designed to favor the tallest, the fastest, and the highest leaper.  It is physically Darwinian.  There is absolutely no advantage for being short.  Hobbits have to compensate by skill, just like sex.  NBA is huge on Philippine TV because the players do appear larger, stronger, meaner than football players or any other athletes.  Even UFC fighters appear smaller than them.  And basketball players become twice as menacing when they leap and dunk the ball right into the basket.  The court seems small to fit them all.  That is why most Filipinos would naturally prefer basketball.  They don't see only skill, they also see size and power.  When they imitate the moves of their basketball heroes, they feel part of something that is larger than life.

Pinoys in general are not as tall as NBA players.  No wonder Growee vitamin supplements and milk products are sold like hotcakes.  The desire of growing tall is not so far behind from acquiring brain power.  Unfortunately, we are lagging behind in Basketball.  Take a look at the official FIBA rankings.  For years, basketball fans have hoped that the next generation of Filipino players would be taller, stronger, and high leapers by hiring players of mixed parentage, by training them in prestigious camps in the States and Europe, and by encouraging more corporate sponsors...but China, the States, Serbia, Iran, and other rival countries will never run out of players who  will also grow taller, shoot better, and leap higher in succeeding generations.  And they don't need to intermarry.  Sigh.  Philippine basketball still has a long way to go.  I don't intend to demean the sport, but when idiots call you a fag because of your poor ball skillz, they are not looking at the bigger picture.  We're 53rd out of 75 countries.  Pass me a mirror, dab my cheeks with a little foundation.  And I'll dab yours.  

A basketball fantard might say with a sneer, "If you can't play basketball, then play football...or jiu-jitsu...or whatever!" to suggest that the other sport is gayer than the other.  Offer him a challenge then, can he run to and from in a field as large as three basketball courts for ninety minutes?  Can he endure a slide kick that could dislocate his ankle?  If your sport is Brazilian Jiu-jitsu...well...don't tell him that his fancy lay-ups are vulnerable for a double leg takedown.  I agree that Basketball is for the tallest height and the highest leapers but is it a game for those with the greatest strength?  The deadliest kicks?  The best dancers?  The human body is an amazing machine that can do a huge variety of skills that are not limited to, and not needed in basketball.  And many of those said skills are what we need in our daily survival - carrying a load, carpentry, writing, reading, typing on a keyboard, and so on and so forth.  So why should basketball skill be held at a premium?  Heck, it  is not even good for fighting.  Sorry, basketball fans. 

Oh, those who say dancing is gay are those who have never touched a woman before.  Masculinity is defined not by the sport you play but by the character you have. 

Now don't get me wrong.  I'm not saying that we abandon basketball.  Here's a good article from SLAM Online about Philippine basketball.  But we should break the monopoly and look into other sports where we can best use our talents.  


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